How to manage the relationship between husband and wife has always been considered a century-old issue. Celebrities’ romantic lives are often under the spotlight, but there are also many inspiring examples of harmonious relationships. Many stars choose to keep their private lives低调, showcasing their blissful moments away from the public eye.
Recently, Li Kaifu has shared his personal experiences with love and marriage, providing deep insights into what it means to be a loving partner. During this time, he has emphasized the importance of cherishing and respecting your significant other. Kaifu even humorously remarked, "From the moment of engagement to marriage, everything your wife says must be taken seriously."
The most beautiful love isn't about staring at each other constantly but walking together towards the horizon, where both partners always gaze in the same direction."
— Excerpt from "The Little Prince"
My journey in love began with a blind date, and it turned out to be the best decision I’ve ever made.
Back then, I was a sophomore in college. The following year, my first girlfriend became my wife. That year, I was 21 years old.
For 34 years now, I still feel incredibly lucky. I’m grateful for my family’s arrangement that led to that blind date and for the wonderful person I met. I’d like to dedicate this piece to my wife and to young people eagerly awaiting love. At the end of this story, I’ll share three principles that have guided my marriage.
When I was 11, I moved to the U.S. with my brother. Before leaving, my mom warned me, "Don’t interact with American girls."
As I grew older, friends around me freely discussed their girlfriends, but I remained shy. The topic made me blush. Even in college, I focused on summer jobs to pay for tuition, leaving little room for romance.
In June 1982, I returned to Taiwan for summer break. Unbeknownst to me, everyone in my family was planning my "lifetime event."
Later, my elder sisters told me that my mom had started arranging blind dates before my trip. She was determined to set me up with someone, regardless. With her orders, my sisters got to work.
Before I returned to Taiwan, they had compiled a list of potential matches. I was prepared for multiple blind dates. This arrangement filled me with excitement and anxiety.
"I didn’t get a good look. Was she too quiet?"
I recall my first blind date. The girl sighed, "Actually, I already have a boyfriend, but my parents forced me to go on this date because they don’t approve of him." After returning home, I thought, "Dating is such a chore."
Yet, just a few weeks later, during my second blind date, I met the love of my life. We now call her my wife. Interestingly, our parents had worked together, but no one had ever considered pairing us.
One day, a mutual friend, Mr. Feng, mentioned this possibility to my father. Upon hearing it, my father was intrigued. While I was in Taiwan, he organized a dinner gathering for our two families. Naturally, we were informed of the purpose of the meeting.
At the dinner, over a dozen people sat around a large table. The adults chatted in Sichuanese about promotions and retirements, completely oblivious to any romantic intentions. Amid the awkward silence, I noticed the "blind date partner" sitting across from me.
She had long hair and a sweet, youthful face. She was poised and elegant. That was my first impression of her. However, due to the distance and our shyness, we barely exchanged a word that day.
Back home, my father asked, "What do you think of her?" I stammered, "I didn’t get a good look. Was she too quiet?"
Later, my wife recounted that she too had blurted out her thoughts to her father back then. Her impression wasn’t favorable. He didn’t say much, his expression serious. She thought it was all a joke. "I wish I were attending an American school!"
I was wrong. I didn’t speak because there were so many elders present, and I hadn’t had a chance. I didn’t look at her because I was too shy.
"No more blind dates. I’ve found the one I truly love."
However, the initial reactions, once spread by Mr. Feng, took a different turn.
The feedback I received was, "Her daughter thinks you’re nice." And she heard, "His son really likes you!" Both sides felt encouraged and decided to meet again.
I remember my first date with her. This quiet girl began to captivate me. She smiled gently, her expression adorable. She spoke softly and exuded simplicity and grace.
Like me, she had no prior experience with the opposite sex, yet we hit it off instantly. On our first date, I playfully teased her. She asked, "What movie should we watch today?" I pretended to study the newspaper carefully and solemnly declared, "Today’s ‘Interior Decoration’ looks promising!" She laughed, "Really? Let’s check out ‘Interior Decoration’!" I took her to the cinema, only to discover it was closed for renovations!
After spending the entire day together, I was exhausted but couldn’t sleep. I replayed every moment of the day in my mind. The next morning, I proudly announced to my sisters, "No one will ever arrange a blind date for me again. I’ve found the one I want!"
Since that day, my heart was set. I dedicated my entire summer vacation to dating her. Our feelings deepened with each meeting.
Later, every time I visited her home, I bought her a bouquet of roses. As a result, when neighbors saw someone holding roses approaching, they all knew, "Li Tianmin’s son is here again!"
From then on, I worked hard to make this my first and only experience. Knowing her family lived in Neihu, a suburb of bustling Taipei, I asked my sisters for a list of top restaurants. I was determined to take her out to eat. My sisters supported me wholeheartedly, even giving me a "love fund" to ensure I could treat her well. I told her, "We want to take you to Taipei!"
Besides dining in Taipei, we wandered through Shilin Night Market and lingered in Taiwan’s dessert shops. We often enjoyed snow cones and shaved ice. One restaurant claimed to have over 60 flavors of ice cream, and we tried them all.
During our interactions, I discovered that beyond her charm and purity, she was also a rare traditional Chinese woman. For her family, she gave her all. She woke up early to do household chores, sweep the floors, and buy groceries, worried about her grandmother and frail mother becoming tired. When her father fell ill, she stayed in the hospital for a full month. When her family faced financial struggles, she skipped meals to prepare her own food. For life, she always burned brightly, illuminating those around her. These qualities deeply moved me.
By late summer vacation, our feelings had grown stronger. On the day I returned to the U.S., we promised to write frequently.
Open-Hearted "Raw Love Letters"
After returning to the U.S., we began writing heartfelt letters. I composed enthusiastic letters to her about college life in the U.S. and the various interesting things happening around me.
Writing to her was the highlight of my day. I could confide in her freely and express my longing. Her letters arrived within a day or two, subtly written though. Although she had much to say, her tone was never overly passionate. This was her usual style.
Once, on a whim, I made a copy of her letters to me. I cut the words out with scissors and glued them onto another sheet of paper, creating a new "Love Letter." In it, I told her how she should write future letters:
(First Paragraph) Kai Fu: Since you returned to the U.S., I’ve spent three days and nights gazing at the moon, thinking of you. I can’t bear it. I’m heartbroken. You are so clever, cute, gentle, thoughtful, and perfect!
It’s said she couldn’t stop laughing or crying upon receiving this letter.
Will you marry me?
In 1983, I was less than 21 years old and preparing to pursue my Ph.D. Simultaneously, another idea took root in my heart:
I want to have one partner for life, someone who stays by my side and shares my joys and sorrows. Success or failure doesn’t matter, but I hope to make her happy and bring her joy.
In my letter, I expressed my desire to marry her. However, this came as a shock to her. She later told me she had never considered marriage. She even thought marriage was far off, a distant dream. When asked, she was vague. She wanted to stay in Taiwan for a while to take care of her grandmother.
After waiting for her response for several days, I picked up the phone and called her home. Clearing my throat, I said, "I know this proposal is sudden for you. We’re both young. But I’ve chosen you. I believe you’ve chosen me too. Therefore," I paused and said,
"Would you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?"
There was nearly a minute of silence before I heard her say, "Yes."
Later, she told me she cried from emotion.
On August 6, 1983, we held a wedding in Taipei.
Three Principles of Marriage
Nowadays, many young people are surprised to learn that I’ve only had one partner in my life, and that I’ve been married since I was 21. I was a bit shocked myself.
In reality, it was precisely this stable emotional bond that kept me company during my Ph.D. studies in the U.S. It also motivated me to focus on scientific research and development.
My wife has worked hard for 34 years, contributing significantly to our family. For our family, she is always full of love and dedication. Whether it’s picking up fresh juice for the whole family every morning at six or sewing clothes and quilts by hand, every little act shows her care.
When I was busy, she took care of me. She never complained when I devoted myself to work. She comforted me during my career lows. I’ve faced many challenges at work and in life transitions, all of which she shared with me.
In this 34-year marriage, we’ve experienced countless moments of affection and strength.
Young friends often ask me about marriage. Here are three principles I offer:
Finally, may all lovers become spouses.
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